We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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