Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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