I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
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He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
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just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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