Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
