i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize