I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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