hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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