I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
