if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
