Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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