That's intense
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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