I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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