Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
