I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Randomize
