i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
