I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
so let's talk penis.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
