You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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