shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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