I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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