he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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