Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
