Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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