I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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