Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
The Olympian is in my bed
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
