You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
