girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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