I must be too annoying 4 u.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
