16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
