So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
