you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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