laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
