so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
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apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize