She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
