I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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