apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
