but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
