My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
