Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
