@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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