as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
