Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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