Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
