rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
It's no shave November. This is our time.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
