My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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