was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
