I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
