U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
