If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize