You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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