The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
