Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
