This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
