fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
