I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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