Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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