Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?