Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
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How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
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Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened