you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Some milfs here doing some blow
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?