Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
