im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
