Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Text me some of your sweat
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
