I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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