One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
