if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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