she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
