i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
